Yet Another Headline!

It has come to my attention over the course of the past few weeks that Hyardgune has an issue with overeating. "No!" you gasp, shocked and appalled. But it's true. Our own beloved Gune is a compulsive eater. Many of us have heard him time and again, muttering the phrase "Git in mah belly" as he stares at his intended victim, generally some unsuspecting little wood elf.

In a fit of pity, I was compelled to assemble a group of stalwart adventurers to bring Hyardgune to the very pit of starvation and degradation, to show him the wickedness of his sins, how his compulsive overeating was destroying so many on Norrath. It was in these hopes that we brought our ogrish friend to Miragul's, the very heart of depravation and torment.

Our hope lasted mere seconds though. Within entering the fell caverns, Hyardgune's first impules was to ravage a poor soul, naught but skin and bones. Dare I say... an Etheropian? (tm: southpark) I whipped out my trusty OgreCam and snapped off a few pictures.

Alas, the carnage continued. Although we tried and tried, we couldn't tear the beast from his banquet. Gune was overtaken by his own lust for food! We could see his armor size increasing as he ate. He was running rampant through the dungeon!

Reasoning with him didn't matter... he couldn't see the difference in our comparative butt sizes. In fact, when I tried to show him, I could have sworn he began to drool as he looked at me!

He wasn't content with just one meal. We stumbled across this poor fellow as well, a confused mutation who didn't last long as Gune's ferocious appetite left him half-ravaged in the hallway!

As final proof, I finally tried to explain to Gune how when your ass is large enough that you begin to lose small mammals in it, it is time for a diet!

He seemed somewhat remorseful, and has since given up his life of wandering around, eating everything in sight. Now he stay in one place, eating everything in sight and committing himself to one purpose...

We were unable to help out the poor Etheropians of Miragul's, but I did invite one of them to stay for a little while.